


Change Of Plans

by scioubeez



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Babysitting, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gallirei parents supremacy, I did, M/M, References to Canon, Tickling, Unresolved Sexual Tension, also, did someone say bottom porco, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:20:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28269765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scioubeez/pseuds/scioubeez
Summary: The right alignment of the planets must be what saves Porco from swearing out loud, when a small girl opens the door and stares up at him, big brown eyes digging a hole in his head.“Who are you?” she chirps, a shrill voice that puts Porco on high alert.(Surprise parenting/babysitting modern AU)
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Porco Galliard
Comments: 22
Kudos: 167





	Change Of Plans

**Author's Note:**

> gift fic for our dear [Alina](https://twitter.com/alinajames), mother of Gallirei: go check out her wonderful art if you haven't already!!
> 
> AU modern setting, Reiner and Porco are both in their early twenties, Gabi and Falco are around five or six years old  
> enjoy the fluff!

It’s with a frown on his face and fingers playing on the radio of his car that Porco arrives, parking in front of Reiner’s house with little to no effort: he’s kind of late, thanks to the dumb fuck at McDonald’s who just couldn’t choose between ketchup and mayonnaise, of all things, and ended up getting none, of course. Reiner laughs at him when he decides what to get literal hours before getting there, but he’s never caused problems to anyone else, so his boyfriend can shut the fuck up.

Porco turns the engine off and grabs the paper bag chock full of junk food from the passenger’s seat: he steps out of the car, taking his sunglasses off and hanging them on his shirt, the sun thankfully too low to bother his eyes. He might be late, sure, but Reiner will understand- besides, they’ve got quite a bit of catching up to do.

Hanging out at Porco’s is downright impossible: his parents are apparently gifted with several pairs of ears, not to mention Marcel constantly staying in whenever Reiner visits, so they can ‘have fun together’ and ‘get to know Porco’s boyfriend better’. Being intimate with each other is obviously out of the question, and snogging in the car gets quite uncomfortable, so their only shot at having some good sex is on Saturdays, when Reiner’s mum leaves for the weekend due to work related reasons- a blessing from the gods, really.

It’s been six days and a half since they last kissed: Porco’s been counting, and it shows in the way he knocks on the door, fast and impatient. He can’t wait to get his hands on that hunk of a man, pin him down on the kitchen counter and slap his arse until it bruises, oh god, he might even bite his cheeks. Maybe he’d even let him eat-

The right alignment of the planets must be what saves Porco from swearing out loud, when a small girl opens the door and stares up at him, big brown eyes digging a hole in his head.

“Who are you?” she chirps, a shrill voice that puts Porco on high alert.

“Hi,” he greets then, because he isn’t that rude. “I’m a friend of Reiner. Is he home?”

The little girl squints before answering, lowering her voice just slightly, “I don’t know.”

 _Like fuck you don’t_ , thinks Porco, offering the little girl a small smile that he hopes isn’t too creepy. He’s about to ask her what is she doing all alone in his house, then, when Reiner himself can be heard complaining from somewhere inside the house: the girl turns her head towards his voice, Porco doing the same, and soon he walks to the door, holding hands with a little blond boy.

“Porco,” he greets, a grin stretching on his face, “you met Gabi already?”

So this is the famous Gabi, Reiner’s little cousin: Porco’s heard a lot about her, so small and cute, yet deadly. Gabi grins up at him, and Porco tries to suppress a pang of anxiety when looking down into her wide, seemingly innocent eyes.

“You’re Reiner’s husband,” she pipes up, the little boy beside Reiner gasping at those words, Porco finding himself blushing of all things instead of talking her out of it- no, he knows, her mind’s already set on it, it’s a kid thing.

“We’re not married, Gabi,” chuckles Reiner, patting her head: Porco notices how she softens up at that, turning around to hug his leg tightly, much to the little boy’s annoyance given his little frown. “Oh, this is Falco by the way, a friend of Gabi’s. Say hi, Falco.”

Just like that, Falco hugs Reiner’s other leg, mirroring Gabi, spying from behind his arm and throwing Porco a shy glance as he mumbles, “hi”, his little squeaky voice causing a slight smile to pop up on Porco’s face.

“Hi,” he greets back, then clears his throat as he looks up at Reiner, holding the bag up expectantly. “I brought food.”

“Reiner’s made pasta,” grumbles Gabi as Reiner steps back, both kids still holding on tight, allowing Porco to get in, “we’re not eating your food.”

“Yeah, that’s right, you are eating pasta,” shoots back Porco, his easy grin shaking slightly as he spots the challenge in Gabi’s eyes, “this is grownup food. It’s not for you.”

“Actually,” starts Reiner, but Falco is faster: he gasps loudly at Porco’s words, never leaving Reiner’s leg though as he asks, “is it spicy? Spicy food? I can’t eat that but my brother does because he’s tall like Dad.”

Porco restrains himself from laughing out loud as he sets the paper bag on the kitchen counter, where the children won’t reach, and only then Reiner manages to tear both of them off his legs. “No, it’s not spicy, but Reiner’s pasta tastes better.”

When he turns around, he sees Gabi and Falco squatting down on the floor, not listening anymore. They start gathering all the pillows they can find: maybe they’re building a little fort? It’s kinda cute, but now Reiner is walking towards him, and Porco makes sure to put a good old frown on his face. Now is not the time to get distracted by cuteness.

“Sorry I didn’t warn you, I just- they brought them here a few hours ago without telling me!” whispers Reiner, his eyes wide with guilt, and Porco inhales deeply, trying not to laugh in his face: where’s the fun if he can’t rile him up a bit? That way the payoff will be even more satisfactory.

“I thought we had plans,” he hisses, “you could’ve texted me-”

“No! They wanted to play with my phone, I had to hide it because what if they managed to open the chat?”

“I told you to delete those texts, didn’t I? Getting sappy over sexting of all things- print ‘em and hang them in your room if you want to read them again!”

“I said I’m sorry! Look, I couldn’t say no, Mum’s not home and they had no one else to turn to!”

Porco grabs the paper bag harshly, shoving it directly in Reiner’s face as he says, “I brought McDonald’s!”

“Not Mc Donald’s,” sobs Reiner, his face falling as he pushes the bag away from his face. “You’re killing me. How am I supposed to eat pasta with the kids now? All that talk about healthy food…”

“Let them eat pasta,” whispers Porco, putting the bag down on the counter under Reiner’s attentive, hungry gaze, “we can eat this. And maybe we can also get a bit handsy later… when we’re alone, you know.”

Reiner gasps. “No way. I could never do that.”

“You’re weak.”

“I’m not weak-”

“Right, you’re not. You’re just loud, no way we can do that.”

“Yeah, right. Besides, walls are pretty thin here.”

Porco can’t help but roll his eyes. “What’s with you and this obsession with walls, I wonder- hey. Where are the kids?”

He’s barely even finished talking: Reiner is literally rushing out of the kitchen, then it’s complete silence, Porco listening with bated breath until Reiner shouts a barely concealed curse, the tiny voices of Gabi and Falco overwhelming and loud as they laugh, absolutely delighted. Porco goes to take a look then, and finds Reiner with a hand on his chest, breathing heavily, both Gabi and Falco pointing at him from behind their little pillow fort, still laughing.

“They got you good,” snorts Porco, crossing his arms and smiling down at the kids, Gabi squealing and Falco averting his eyes, somewhat embarrassed. “Nice job scaring him, you two.”

“Yeah,” pants Reiner, “nice job. Yeah.”

“Porco! Help us rebuild the fort!” shouts Gabi, way too loud for being indoors, and Porco cringes visibly at the volume, though he still smiles down at her. How can you say no?

“Alright,” he concedes, kneeling down to address Falco before anything else: it’s important to get both of their approval first, after all. “Can I help, Falco?”

He’s still not looking him in the eye, though he nods, scratching at his cheek, and for Porco it’s enough. They start gathering the pillows where Gabi directs them, that is- until she changes her mind halfway through, opting for a better spot right off the carpet, to which Reiner warmly suggests that no, it’s not hygienic, but he’s swayed by Gabi’s puppy eyes, so it’s whatever, he’ll just wash them later. Eventually he kneels down, too, Falco crawling quickly to his side, grabbing the fabric of his trousers but still sneaking glances at Porco every now and then.

“Leave him alone,” quips Gabi at some point, shoving Falco backwards, much to Porco’s amusement, “he’s my horse! Not yours! I’m the knight here!”

“No,” bites back Falco, his tiny round cheeks puffed up in irritation, “I want to be a knight too.”

Gabi shakes her head, the neat ponytail on the top of it bouncing relentlessly: Reiner’s work, he’s sure of it. “You’re the prince! I gotta save you from the evil… lion!” she exclaims then, head snapping towards Porco. “And you’re the lion!”

Porco snorts loudly at the pureness of it all. “Can’t I be a dragon instead?”

“No, you look like a lion,” shoots back Falco, surprisingly enough: Porco widens his eyes at him, determination visible in his little clenched fists. Reiner covers his mouth, failing to hide his little smirk.

“Alright, horses and lions, it makes perfect sense,” he concedes, getting down on all fours, Porco seeing his whole life flash before his eyes. “Come on, brave knight, hop on!”

Gabi stands up and squeals, climbing on Reiner’s back and giving him directions as he crawls wherever she tells him to, Porco trying his best to stay composed as he gets a front row view of his boyfriend’s plump arse: he shakes his head to try and collect himself, because it’s too much, he’s even wearing sweatpants, it’s like he planned everything from the start, the absolute _slut_.

“So I’ve kidnapped you,” he asks then, clearing his throat: Falco’s eyes widen, and he nods hesitantly, still looking away from him. He’s so shy it’s adorable.

“Gabi is going to save me,” he blurts out in his tiny voice.

“Yeah, Gabi and her horse,” snorts Porco, his heart skipping a beat as Falco giggles at his remark, and that pretty much seals it. “Hey, Falco. Are you ticklish?”

Oh, the flashbacks. Marcel used to ask him all the time back when they were little- hey Porco, are you ticklish?, Porco would always answer no, I’m not, and then it was over, Marcel’s deft little fingers tickling him all over his ribs and under his armpits, even the sweet spot on the back of his knees, and Porco would be laughing his heart out to the point of crying. It’s time to pass the Galliard tradition on.

“No,” answers Falco proudly, and that’s exactly what a ticklish child would say.

Porco sneers, then waits until he’s distracted, watching Gabi and Reiner do their knight and horse thing- and it’s on, he’s grabbing Falco and pushing him gently down on the pillows, tickling him Marcel Galliard style, and the kid outright melts: he squeals, shouts, laughs, both Gabi and Reiner freezing in shock as Porco turns him around to tickle him behind his back, Falco wheezing, his small round face all red as he keeps laughing out loud, the shy little kid finally opening up. It never fails.

“Let’s save him!” shouts Gabi then, laughing as well, Reiner doing his best horse impression as he closes the distance between them, Porco throwing in a few lion-like noises for good measure. Only then Falco remembers- he’s supposed to cry for help! And he does just that, still laughing as Porco tickles him until he starts tearing up; as soon as Gabi whacks him over the head with a pillow, messing up his carefully crafted hairstyle, Porco stops and falls down dramatically, in slow motion, letting out a low _noooooo_ that has Reiner in stitches.

Gabi dismounts and sits down next to Falco, tickling him again, the poor kid now begging her to stop, though he’s still laughing. “I saved you! Now you gotta save me!”

The two start bickering again, and Porco glances at Reiner, who in turn glances back at him, a kind smile on his face. Porco wants to kiss him so, so bad… he might just do that. They think they’re married already, after all, it won’t bother them if he sneaks in a quick peck on Reiner’s lips. It feels like they’re spending the evening with their own children, in a sense.

…his heartbeat starts going wild at that thought. He’s got the sappiness virus from Reiner. He knew it would’ve rubbed off on him eventually.

“Enough saving for now, it’s time to eat,” sighs Reiner as he gets up, Porco following suit, trying to comb his hair back with his hands. “Come on, help us set the table.”

Gabi rolls her eyes. “I don’t want to! I’m doing it everyday at home, too.”

Reiner is about to say something, but Falco beats him to it as he wheezes, still fatigued by the intense tickling session, “can we eat grownup food if we help?”

This kid is something special: Porco sneers as he walks to the kitchen to wash his hands, followed by Reiner and a very disgruntled Gabi, next to a slightly panting Falco.

“I don’t want to wash my hands, they’re always clean,” she grumbles, and Reiner rolls his eyes, just like she did a few moments ago. Porco smiles to himself at the similarity: they look like father and daughter, to be honest.

“Then you’ll be eating dirt with your pasta,” offers Porco as he rinses his hands off, both of them staring at him with wide, guilty eyes: Reiner guffaws a laugh as he squeezes soap on his palms, Porco stepping away from the sink to allow him some space, and he dries his hands as he looks down at them with a knowing look.

“Reiner’s house is clean,” points out Falco, his little face all scrunched up, Gabi nodding wildly beside him. “There’s no dirt here.”

“Oh, there is,” insists Porco, kneeling down so they can look at each other almost at eye level, “it’s the special dirt, though. It’s very, very tiny, and it gets caught in the small ridges of your skin- see your hand? There’s lots of tiny lines on the skin. That’s where the dirt hides.”

Reiner grabs the kitchen towel from Porco’s hands and giggles quietly to himself, as he starts setting the table by himself. Though Falco does step forward at that, motioning for the small stool at the back of the kitchen so he can reach into the sink: Porco sets it in front of him and he climbs on it, washing his hands dutifully, whereas Gabi crosses her arms and puffs her cheeks up.

“I don’t believe you,” she grumbles, though she softens immediately as Reiner pats her head softly: she looks up at her cousin, her eyes positively glowing, and there might be a hint of a blush on her round cheeks.

“Do as uncle Porco says, Gabi,” he chides, with the sweetest smile on his face, and Porco wonders if the strange little ball of pleasant warmth he feels in his stomach is what other people would call ‘fatherly instinct’.

He wants this man’s children. That’s it. It’s decided.

“I’m done,” calls out Falco, his hands dripping, and only then Porco turns around to help him dry them off.

As Gabi steps on the stool, Falco helping Reiner dutifully, she glares at Porco as she scrubs at her hands with perhaps too much energy and grumbles, “you’re not an uncle,” to which Porco can only snort and raise his eyebrows.

“No?” he asks, waiting for her to be finished, but she’s taking her sweet time as she watches the soap drip slowly off her hands. Gabi shakes her head energetically, the small ponytail starting to come undone.

“You’re Reiner’s husband,” she declares then, “so you’re my cousin too.”

“Alright, I’m your cousin,” concedes Porco, his cheeks catching fire, “now rinse your hands off properly, it’s important not to waste water.”

Dinner is an absolute nightmare, as expected.

Gabi is the messiest eater Porco’s ever seen: she manages to get food everywhere, on the table, on herself, on Falco- the poor boy tries to keep to himself, but she starts taking it as a joke and flings bits of pasta at him, getting it into his hair, no matter what Reiner or Porco say.

“I’m going to bite you,” threatens Falco then, supremely annoyed by Gabi getting pasta even on his clothes- his shirt is brand new! His brother got it for him last week and it’s so awesome it can’t be ruined with tomato sauce of all things! Porco helps him to the bathroom so he can wash the sauce off and change into another shirt, but as soon as he takes Falco’s hand he hears Reiner’s low voice, as he talks to Gabi, and he freezes.

“Keep this up and you’re going home right this instant, am I clear?” he says, the hair on the back of Porco’s neck standing to attention.

“I don’t want to go home,” complains Gabi, her little voice breaking halfway through, clearly displeased with Reiner’s threat. Falco tugs at Porco’s hand so they can get to the bathroom faster, and he shakes his head, following him right as Reiner adds, in an even lower voice than before, words that will haunt Porco’s mind for the rest of the evening…

“Stop doing whatever you want and behave properly, then.”

Gabi sniffles a bit before answering, “okay,” in a small, wet voice, and Porco hears nothing more as he closes the bathroom door for Falco’s sake- and for his own, really, hearing his boyfriend talk like that is not something for the faint of heart. He passes him the clean shirt, neatly folded on top of his pajamas on the heater there, courtesy of Reiner: he loves the feeling of warm and toasty clothes when going to bed, so it’s no wonder he’s chosen to treat the little kids, too.

“Thank you,” murmurs Falco, his little pout so endearing that Porco would pick him up and carry him all the way back to the kitchen. He settles for smiling at him and patting his head, much like Reiner did before with Gabi: Falco’s eyes literally light up at that, and makes the choice for Porco, raising his little arms towards him.

Porco is very weak, so he carries him, no questions asked, as Falco hugs his neck with both arms, resting the side of his little round head on Porco’s shoulder. He wants at least five children. Maybe even six.

When they get back to the kitchen, Gabi is sitting on Reiner’s lap: she smiles up at him as he helps her finish whatever is left of her mangled food, Reiner’s little smile so peaceful and adorable that it kills Porco.

“All clean,” announces Porco, Reiner’s head snapping towards him: his cheekbones are a darker pink now, seeing him with Falco in his arms, and his lips part, Gabi quickly getting annoyed because she’s hungry and wants Reiner to feed her.

“Yeah, sorry- here comes the dragon, Gabi,” exclaims Reiner, Gabi covering her mouth with both hands, mirth filling her eyes as Reiner adds, with an overly exaggerated flourish of his hand, “the pasta dragon!”

Porco offers to do the dishes as Reiner helps both kids get changed in the bathroom: thankfully they showered already before their parents brought them here. As he rinses off the cutlery, Porco spots the forgotten paper bag, still on the counter, the food in there probably gone bad at this point.

He sighs. It’s useless to cry over spilt milk: he’ll just get rid of it. Reiner’s pasta truly tastes much better, after all.

“Porco,” calls Reiner from outside the kitchen: Porco turns the faucet off and dries his hands approximatively on the kitchen towel, turning to see his boyfriend with a small, tired smile on his very kissable lips. “Can you help me carry them to the bedroom? They want their other cousin too.”

“Yeah,” he snorts, throwing the towel on the table and following Reiner to the bathroom. Gabi and Falco are waiting expectantly, both of them wearing tiny mismatched slippers- they probably switched them, and had a lot of fun in doing so, for kid reasons. He crouches down, ready to carry Falco but, surprisingly, it’s Gabi who hops towards him and jumps in his arms, almost throwing him off balance.

“I get Porco this time,” she squeals, squeezing Porco’s neck so tight that he fears he might suffocate here and now.

“Easy, now,” chides Reiner, chuckling as Falco stands on his tiptoes so that Reiner can pick him up: his small, satisfied smile as he rests on him shows that he wanted just that.

They get Aunt Karina’s large, luxurious bed for the night: it’s littered with pillows at every side of it, so that they won’t fall off during the night. As soon as Gabi touches down on the bed she starts rolling all over it, much to Reiner’s tired dismay, Falco joining her immediately as Porco laughs uncontrollably, pushing them in all directions to help them to roll faster instead of calming them down.

“Alright, you devils, no bedtime story for you,” warns Reiner, and both Gabi and Falco freeze at that: they look at each other in horror, wide round eyes almost bulging out of their heads, and Porco snorts despite himself, Reiner’s front crumbling quickly at that.

“It’s Falco’s fault,” complains Gabi as she gets under the sheets, Falco imitating her as he throws imaginary darts at her with his impressive glare, “he started it!”

“I don’t care,” is Reiner’s easy, amiable answer, and he tucks them in, helped by Porco, who manages Falco’s side. “I guess you get a story anyway, though… you did eat all your food.”

“Yay!” they both cheer, only their heads visible out of the sheets now, and they look so ridiculously cute and cozy that Porco can feel his heart grow bigger, if possible.

“Well then,” sighs Reiner, sitting on the side of the bed, Porco imitating him and listening with bated breath, “what story should I tell… hmm. So many choices.”

“I know, I know, I know!” squeals Gabi, kicking her legs under the sheets, “the little soldier! Please, please, please-”

“No, Gabi,” he chuckles, massaging his temples, “I’ve told you that one last time. We need something new so that Falco won’t get bored, alright?”

Her answer is to blow a raspberry in Falco’s direction, to which he answers with a little frown that melts Porco’s heart. Reiner then turns towards Porco, and asks, of course, “do you have anything in mind?”

Now the kids are really into it: they’re staring at Porco with wide, expectant eyes, and he clears his throat, trying not to freak out too much. He’s never told bedtime stories to anyone! That’s Marcel’s specialty, not his.

Reiner seems to pick up on Porco’s doubt, because he sneers, a little arrogant smirk slashing across his stupidly handsome face, “you’re too embarrassed to do that, right?”

Well, that pretty much does it.

“I’m not embarrassed,” spits Porco, visibly embarrassed, and tries to ignore Reiner’s wheezing laugh as he runs a hand through his hair, racking his mind to come up with something that will keep the kids entertained. “So, um. Do you know the story of the pig and the rhino?”

Falco draws his brows together, Gabi yawns loudly, then asks, as if she didn’t catch it, “Reiner?”

“No,” snorts Porco, “I said rhino. Ever heard of it?”

She shakes her head, already captivated by the mystery of it all. Even Reiner is listening now, making himself comfortable and sitting on the bed with his legs crossed. “Good, then I’ll tell you this one. It’s very complicated, so you need to pay attention to it, alright?”

“Alright,” giggles Gabi then: she loves a challenge, it seems. Falco nods, clenching the sheets in both fists as he readies himself for the very complicated story Porco is about to tell.

A quick glance to the side- Reiner smiles at him, his head tilted to the side, eyelids heavy with fatigue and endearment, and Porco’s heartbeat picks up. He has to compose himself before straightening his back, trying to come up with the biggest amount of coherent bullshit he can muster.

“What was that,” snorts Reiner, “the angry pig and the bitchy rhino? I’ve never heard that one before.”

Porco rolls his eyes as he drops the towel, putting on his clean pants and keeping his voice down so that the kids in the other room won’t wake up. “I made it up on the spot, obviously. Don’t look too deep into it.”

“Oh, right. So you totally didn’t get inspiration from real life people or anything.”

It sounds even more ridiculous now that Reiner’s repeated it: Porco can’t help the smile that blooms on his face, or the heat on his cheeks as Reiner doubles down in laughter, trying to contain himself. “Yeah, laugh all you want, at least they’re sleeping now.”

“I just- it’s so out of left field,” he wheezes, shrugging out of his bathrobe to put his pajamas on, much to Porco’s approval.

Instead of ogling at his boyfriend, Porco entertains him, reveling in the depth of his voice as he laughs again. “You want to know the best bit? They’ve got to figure out how to fuck each other when they get together eventually. I left that part out before, of course.”

“You’re killing me,” now Reiner shakes his head, crossing the distance between them and tilting his head down to peck him on the lips, softly yet too quickly for Porco’s taste. “Let’s get into bed now. I hope you’ve got another story to tell me.”

Porco kisses him back, more forcefully than intended, and he whispers on Reiner’s parted lips, “I’ve got one, yeah. Make yourself comfortable, it’s going to be very long and thorough.”

“Oh?” hums Reiner, deep down his throat, as Porco keeps kissing him, tilting his head to deepen it. They take particular care with being silent, as much as they can, at least: the kisses are slower, the sighs quieter, but they still end up on bed rather soon, Reiner towering over Porco as he bends down to kiss him again, Porco running both hands all over his shoulders and biceps.

It’s tormenting him- that dominant voice he used before, those commands, so simple yet effective: he can’t stop thinking about what Reiner could do when given the upper hand in bed. He almost always leaves it to Porco, but a change of pace is just what they need to keep things spicy, he figures: he licks his lips at the thought, Reiner moving down to trace the shape of his chin with the tip of his tongue, eventually kissing a path down the side of his neck as Porco throws his head back on the pillow, a quiet sigh leaving his lips.

“Hey,” he pants, when Reiner insists a bit too much on a particular patch of skin right above Porco’s collarbone, “maybe you should top me for once.”

Just like that, Reiner freezes: his eyes snap open, and he looks up with his lips still parted, disbelief apparent on his features. “What,” he murmurs, knitting his brows together- how cute.

“Come on, you’re enjoying this,” hisses Porco, Reiner’s eyes darting to the side, no sound coming from the other side of the wall, where the kids are supposed to be sleeping. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that,” murmurs Reiner, shifting atop Porco and sliding down to the side, Porco immediately rolling his eyes because he knows he’s not in the mood anymore, “can’t we just do this instead of going all the way? The kids are right there in Mum’s room…”

“They probably sleep like rocks, if we keep quiet we can do pretty much anything,” snorts Porco, crossing his arms. He hates being this way, but it still stings whenever Reiner doesn’t reciprocate.

Before answering, Reiner takes his time, lying on his side and running his fingers across Porco’s forearm, the touch summoning goosebumps on his skin. “I don’t think we should, Porco. What if they hear us?”

“Fine, forget I even asked,” concedes Porco, a sigh leaving his lips even if he’s trying his best not to be a pain in the arse about it. “We can kiss, though.”

Right as he turns on his side to face Reiner, he bops his nose with the tip of his finger and chuckles at his irritation. “Of course we can. Come here.”

So, what happens is that they start kissing, and it’s nice, slow, quiet, for sure- then, Reiner be damned, he sighs into a particularly thorough kiss, Porco swallows heavily, they both open their eyes just enough to gaze at each other, and it’s pretty much over: Reiner almost tears the shirt off Porco’s head, pinning him down on the bed as they resume kissing, and it’s all tongue and teeth, it’s sloppy, rough, born literally out of nothing, nails digging into skin, moans gulped down between kisses, hips unable to stay still, searching for as much friction as they can get.

“I thought we- _ah_ ,” starts Porco, a groan forcing its way past his mouth, quickly trapped by Reiner’s as he licks into his mouth, his free hand snaking down across his body to get under the elastic band of his pants.

“You’re better than me at keeping quiet, aren’t you,” drawls Reiner as soon as he moves away from Porco’s swollen lips, his gaze roaming all over his face, “let’s see what you’ve got then.”

Porco bites his lower lip, hard, when Reiner takes him in his warm hand and helps him out of his pants, neck craning down to hum at the sight of his cock, leaking already, heavy, as it falls back down on Porco’s lower stomach, a delicious weight that makes shivers run down his spine. “I thought you weren’t in the mood anymore,” he pants, Reiner grinning at that, the tips of his teeth digging into his lower plump lip.

“I changed my mind.”

“What do you want to do, then,” whispers Porco, reasoning that he might have been too loud with his frantic breathing, so it’s better if he keeps it down for the time being. He can’t take his eyes off Reiner, not now that he’s licking his lips, never looking away from his cock- oh, he wants it, he wants it so bad that he’s willing to risk being caught while doing whatever it is he wants to.

Then, just as Reiner is about to answer, now looking up right at Porco with his killer _I-want-your-cock_ stare, they both stop dead in their metaphorical tracks- someone just sneezed in the other room.

“…I’m going to-”

“You are _not_ going to see if everything’s alright, because it is,” hisses Porco then, almost hyperventilating, because really, he’s got his cock out in all its glory and Reiner had plans that involved it being the rightful centre of attention, but no! They just had to sneeze, whoever it was, Gabi or Falco- there it is, now that he’s actively thought about their names he can’t do this anymore. He feels too weird to get on with it.

“Right,” nods Reiner, his face scrunched up in exaggerated worry, “they’re fine, it was just a sneeze. Right.”

Porco nods as well, biting his lip as he tucks himself back in, under Reiner’s distracted gaze. “And we should probably… not do this. Like, maybe they’re going to hear, and stuff.”

Reiner sighs, sliding back off Porco’s body, his back hitting the mattress with a faint thud that makes Porco instantly turn around to face him, so he can steal at least a little kiss before they drift off to sleep. “Goodnight then,” murmurs Porco, pecking him softly, Reiner reciprocating immediately.

“Night,” he grunts, immediately adding, “turn on your side so I can spoon you at least.”

“Yeah,” concedes Porco, Reiner’s body shielding him from behind, and he sighs at the contact, feeling protected, warm and safe in his boyfriend’s arms. It’s no problem, really, he was just being a stuck-up arse before, it’s not like they need to bone each other every single time they hang out at Reiner’s. They’re not wild animals, come on.

Except that, in a matter of minutes, Reiner is actually growing hard against him, his cock fitting snugly in the small dip between his cheeks, and his breathing is slightly labored as he grinds up into Porco’s backside, leaving slow, wet kisses all over the side of his neck.

“Hey, hang on, hang on,” pants Porco, though he does nothing to stop Reiner, actively grinding back against him instead, “weren’t you the worried one-”

“I can’t help it,” murmurs Reiner, directly on the shell of Porco’s ear, and oh, he sees stars, “you’re too hot for your own good.”

Now this is too much- praise? Porco feels his eyes roll back into his skull of their own will. “Keep going,” he pants, trying to be as quiet as possible, even if Reiner is tugging his pants down again, just with one hand- Porco can only imagine what he’s trying to do with his other one.

“No one’s stopping me,” is Reiner’s answer, a sigh, rough, that drags out of his throat and calls forth another wave of goosebumps all over Porco’s skin. “Look at this,” he keeps going, squeezing Porco’s backside, rough, demanding, Porco biting back a groan, “I bet you want me to fuck you in the arse nice and good, don’t you?”

Oh lord. Oh, lord almighty. Porco opens his mouth, his lips quiver, he’s about to say that yes, he most definitely wants to be fucked properly by his suddenly very dominant boyfriend; then, another sneeze, and everything comes crumbling down. Porco feels like he’s going to sob into the pillow until he falls asleep.

Reiner sighs, patting Porco’s buttcheek slightly before shifting behind him, doing who knows what, and then his weight disappears off the bed: Porco cranes his neck to the side, and sees that Reiner is actually walking out of the room, leaving him there all alone, his arse out in the open, as if they were just talking, no big deal. He’s having none of that.

“You are not going to leave me here in your bed,” he threatens, forcing his pants back up as he clambers off the bed, Reiner’s head snapping towards him, eyes wide like a scared stray animal running off for its life.

“But they’re cold,” he hisses, “they keep sneezing!”

“Fine,” concedes Porco, grabbing his shirt off the bed and putting it on, and only after he realizes that it’s Reiner’s, but he doesn’t care, it’s comfortable and big and smells like him, so all the better. “Let’s check up on them.”

Thankfully, they didn’t wake up- not fully, at least: Gabi sneezes again, right as Porco helps Reiner to put heavier sheets on the bed, and after a while her breathing starts to slow down, peacefully. They’re both sleeping soundly when they get back to Reiner’s room, Porco climbing into bed without taking off Reiner’s shirt, not that he minds.

“Spoon me,” he orders in a sleepy voice, Reiner complying immediately. He yawns, hiding his face between Porco’s shoulderblades as he does that, and Porco yawns as well, suddenly feeling very tired and sleepy.

“I wasn’t done with you… you know,” grunts Reiner, his voice thick, laced with sleep. “…arse.”

Porco’s face scrunches up in the dark. “What have I done,” he yawns, scratching at his stomach.

“No, no no,” mumbles Reiner, sighing against the back of Porco’s neck, “I was talking about your arse. I wasn’t done with it.”

“Fine.”

“What’s fine-”

“It’s fine if you… if we don’t talk about it. Tomorrow we can do it. Talk about my arse, I mean.”

No answer: Porco clears his throat, Reiner jolting behind him, and it’s hilarious, so much that Porco would laugh if he weren’t falling asleep.

“Sorry, yeah… we will. Ketchup is best.”

Porco blinks in the dark, eyelids almost glued to each other. “Ketchup…?”

He’s too far gone now: Reiner is falling asleep as they speak, mumbling _oh, Mc Donald’s_ , as he almost starts snoring at the end of it, jolting back awake all on his own.

Covering his hand with his own, Porco smiles in the dark, yawning again before murmuring, in the sweetest voice he can muster, “goodnight, Reiner.”

It takes a while, but Reiner eventually answers back, in a low, sleepy voice that spreads warmth all over Porco’s body, “goodnight, Porco.”

Thank the lord they remembered to put their pants back on when getting into bed, last night- because when Porco wakes up, Gabi and Falco outright jump on their bed, screaming bloody murder as they decide to wake them up in the most chaotic way contemplated by mankind.

Reiner yawns, loudly, both Gabi and Falco imitating him as they laugh, and Porco doesn’t mind if his hair is standing up in every direction, if he’s still traumatised after having been woken up like this, if he just wasted money on junk food they won’t even eat, or if he didn’t get railed by his boyfriend like he planned last night- he loves this.

As they all climb down the bed Porco thinks, smiling softly to no one in particular, that he wouldn’t mind doing all this again.


End file.
